United We Stand....

This isn't the first time around for most of us. Diet after diet. Binge after binge. What is the secret to stopping the cycle? That's the point of this adventure we're going on together. Unlocking that secret. I don't know it yet, but let me tell you something I do know a lot about.

When I have a case come to me , and I learn they have no one they can talk to about "anything," I immediately go on red alert. I don't care the nature of your problem: drugs, anxiety, depression, food. If you don't have supports, you are at very high risk. Our success in achieving our goals, whatever they may be, is highly impacted by whether or not we have the support network to back us up. 

Dear reader, you can't do it alone.

I can't do it alone. 

Today is all about finding out who our supports are. I know some of you are already thinking of names and faces. Let me ask you something. Are these names and faces people that you can say anything to? Because talking about addiction is different than talking about a shit day at the office. Everyone can identify with a shit day at the office, but not everyone can identify with a shit day of avoiding potato chips. Substance abuse victims have their own supports (like AA) because they know that they have to be around people that they can talk about their addiction to openly and candidly. 

If you look back at the movie, Hungry for Change, perhaps you'll remember one section where Kris Carr talks about spraying her trash with Windex so she wouldn't go trash-diving for sugar. She can talk about it now to the whole world because she's defeated that particular demon. However, who do you think she was telling that to at the time? Chances are, no one. 

Some of you might be asking, "why is it so important that we voice these things, Jess? I don't need to tell someone about private stuff like that." Reader, the secrets we hide from the world are our shame. Our shame serves us only one purpose: to remind us of how we aren't good enough and everyone else is better. In a support group that can identify with these thoughts and actions, we can see that we are not alone even in our most shameful, horrific thoughts and actions. I believe this to be one of the keys to success and why programs like AA and NA have managed some success. Therefore, one of the things we need in our Food Addiction program is supports. 

Today, I'm going to help you with a skill called "identifying supports." I've done this simple exercise many times with people in my office. I've created a couple of easy worksheets for it here. We are going to write down a list of all the people we have regular contact with. These can be friends, family, co-workers, etc. It might be a really long list for you. On the second worksheet, we need place the people in the appropriate circle. Literally everyone from the list needs to be in a circle. The people on the inner circle are people you can talk to about everything.

Now, my very best friend in the world I can talk to about anything. However, I do not feel comfortable talking to her about my thoughts and actions when it comes to my addiction because I know she would only worry to death and not be able to relate to the struggle.  Please don't panic, dear reader, if you cannot put anyone on your list into the inner circle yet. Part of this adventure is helping us develop the relationships with people that go into that inner circle. Maybe some of you have come up with names to add to your safety plan. 

I've decided to put up a chat for this blog. It is located to your right, at the top of the navigation pane.  This chat is not a substitute for therapeutic help or the suicide hotline (800-273-8255), but it is immediate access to others that are reading this blog and possibly feeling the same way you are at the moment. You do not have to use your real name.

Let's explore supports and think about who we need more of in our lives if we are going to eat in a healthy way. If you think of someone, add them to our safety plan. If not, don't worry. I'm certain, dear reader, we were meant to find each other and support each other.

We're all in this together.

Jess