Pink Cloud Syndrome

Many years back, I was reading Augusten Burroughs's "Dry," when I was introduced to the idea of the "pink cloud." I've since read about it in the Alcoholic Anonymous handbook, professionally. In alcohol/opioid recovery, the Pink Cloud is the event after change where you feel so good that you feel almost infallible. The pink cloud creates overconfidence and cockiness. You'll know you've hit it when you take your good news of your new eating habits to the street and try to get all your friends to listen to how great your new life is.

Whenever I'm doing a skills-based activity with my clients, and we talk about the difference between cockiness and confidence, it always comes down to one thing. Confidence doesn't require an audience. If you feel the need to tell everyone around you how great your life is, there's a very real possibility that there's still something you're working on, and you're only trying to convince yourself.

Now, I'm not saying that things aren't better. I'm sure they are getting better. However, the pink cloud syndrome is dangerous because it makes us feel, much like the drugs we were on, that nothing can touch us. "I have this brand new life, and everything is stellar!" You might stop monitoring your eating habits as much. You might stop using your safety plan. "I got this!" But the truth is this.

Your life is still your life.

All those things that made you eat before? They are still there.

One of my favorite quotes from Hungry for Change is "It's not just what you're eating. It's also what's eating you." I promised we would have a conversation about that. It appears the time has come.

If I go back several years ago to my first internship, I recall working with a really great trauma specialist. This trauma expert told me that there had never been a case assigned to the office for addiction that didn't have its basis in trauma. It seemed incredible to me at the time. Every single addict is drinking out of trauma?! Now, after all I have studied and seen, I get it.

My friend, the secret behind addiction is this. You aren't an addict because you're a failure and can't make good choices. You aren't an addict because you hang out with the wrong people. You aren't an addict because you just like drugs.

You're an addict because you are self-medicated.

Everything you're doing and have done comes from the need to feel happy. You are doing what you know to feel better. You've been trying to eat your way into happiness. Some people drink it. Some people shoot it. Some people snort it. Some people screw it. Guess, what? Happiness is not a tangible thing that we can put in our body. Unfortunately, the same hormones and chemicals that induce happiness in the brain can be increased by doing these very things, with some pretty horrific side effects. If we use these unhealthy coping skills enough, we physically become addicted to them instead of the natural high of life. So we create the false belief in our minds that we can do all these things to be happy. In reality, when the effects have worn off, nothing in our lives is any different. Mentally, we struggle to understand this because chemically our body has tried to convince us that we can replicate happiness in a pill, drink, shopping splurge, or chocolate cake.

Remember how I tried to convince you to find therapeutic help for this journey? AA and NA aren't treatment programs, only supports? Addiction means there is something in your life that you're trying to fix on your own, and this is how you're doing it. If you were high on life, YOUR LIFE, you wouldn't be seeking highs elsewhere. The danger of the pink cloud is that when it evaporates, you will come down. If you aren't in a program, relapse is a very real threat...



Heavy shit today, kids, but it needed to be said. Stay strong. If you're struggling with self harming or suicidal thoughts, please reach out to the Suicide hotline (1-800-273-8255). Always feel free to use our chat or 7 cups just to have someone to talk to.

We're in this together.

Jess